Three years. Three fucking years and it narrowed down to one night, last night, and I was splitting open like a flower, like a dam, like an open wound that bleeds steadily, steadily and will never turn into scabs. I am fresh, fucking fresh and sad, fucking mad and I do not know why I am here when I want to be some place else, I want to rewind time and press play at last night, 091207 at 20:00 hours, press pause at 21:30 hours and rewind again, and play again, pause again, again and again and again. My soul was alight with fire, with energy like a thousand bulbs bursting at the same time. I do not want to be here. I want to hold on to yesterday night, or move on following where it left me, and where the bloody trail began.
Yesterday I was alive. Yesterday night I was awake and alert, voice soaring loud and screaming until it fucking exploded. I was moving with the music. Moving like it is the reason I live, I breathe.
Today I am hollow, like a corpse. My soul has left me in Stadium Merdeka. I do not know if it will come back.
Tell me if it is okay to have one of your impossible dreams come true, and then cry afterwards?
Tell me where should I draw the line, tell me how should I school my soul so that it stays with me, sober and dull.
Tell me if this is what I (should) want.
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:-(((( Twin I have to save this poetry, print out and put in my journal.THIS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL..Me unlike you, don't know how to express in words, how to construct sentence, in how I feel after the concert. You just nail it. It's beautiful and sad.
ReplyDeleteIt's not fair isn't it, 3 years of wait, 1 and half hour of awesome and breathtaking performance, and our boys just live us like that, taking away something deep inside of us.
It's true than..One great rock performance can change your life. Gee used to said that. :-)
They truly did.